Найти книгу: "Skinny Bastard"

A hilarious guide to dissing the dicks in your life.After years of meeting and putting up with crap people, a serious illness left Eileen Condon with plenty of time to ask herself why she ever put up with them. Her recovery was aided by countless hours spent in pubs with friend Amanda Edwards where they purged their bile about all the bullies, bitches and bastards that they have encountered.Bullies Bitches and Bastards is the result of their cathartic trawl through a rogues' gallery of crap boyfriends, girlfriends, bosses, family members, neighbours and work colleagues – people whose characteristics read like a thesaurus of cunning: sly, Machiavellian, gerrymandering, duplicitous, crafty, vulpine bastards.There's The Enormous Baby Boyfriend. He thinks you're his mummy. You have to cater to his every whim and pay him round-the-clock attention. Or he'll cry, throw a tantrum and vomit – all over you! Ta-da!Or, how about Beelzeboss? Marvel at the amount of energy they put into bitching and backstabbing. If they worked as hard at their actual job, they'd be Bill Gates. Particularly deft at wheedling out your Achilles heel and using it against you at every opportunity.Have you met Miss-Fortune Teller? She delights in your disasters. Don't be fooled by the sympathetic ear on the end of the phone, she's biting her knuckles with glee, barely able to contain her excitement at the good news that you're having such a bad time.Divided into a number of sections including partners, friends, bosses and colleagues this book will appeal to early mid-life, disaffected, disillusioned, burnt-out 30/40-somethings who have met these grotesques at some point in their lives. They, like the authors, want to see them pinned, slit open and dissected like a frog in a school lab.

One of the brilliant titles in Jean Ure’s acclaimed series of humorous, delightful and poignant stories written in the form of diaries and letters which make them immediately accessible to children.Cherry’s teacher has told her that keeping a diary is a good way to unclog your head – and Cherry certainly has a lot on her mind…Cherry’s mother has just re-married, much to Cherry’s disgust. The worst thing about her step-father is his name: Roland Butter. Can you imagine?Cherry’s best friend, Skinny Melon, is a sounding board for all Cherry’s angsts – Roland’s allergies for one – who wants a wimpy step-father, all sniffly and red-eyed? All this and curried compost school dinners to contend with.But when Roland starts sending Cherry coded messages, her curiosity is aroused. Will she ever learn to live with, and even like, Roland Butter?

Too often when dieting or trying to cut back, dinner times leave you feeling hungrier than before: the portions too small, the food too bland and boring. Gina Holmolka’s Skinnytaste Cookbook offers the perfect solution – 150 flavour-full, skinnified versions of family favourites and hearty yet healthy dishes to suit every preference.With nutritional information available for every recipe, you’ll find slimmed down options for each meal of the day that you’d swear are anything but. Try banana-blueberry pancakes for breakfast at just 259 calories; nab a steak sandwich for lunch for only 350, and round off your day with Mongolian beef and broccoli for an amazing 256. You can even wash it down with a Double Chocolate Chip Walnut Cookie that’s low in sugar and butter-free, but still totally indulgent.As a busy mother of two, Gina started her internationally acclaimed blog Skinnytaste when she was struggling to find enough tempting recipes to support her through her Weight Watchers program. Instead she started “skinnifying” her favourite meals so that she could eat happily whilst still cutting down. The Skinnytaste Cookbook is the culmination of her remarkable efforts to keep the taste but ditch the fat – now you can eat the food you love AND lose weight at the same time.

The hilariously candid story of an unbelievably dysfunctional and disintegrating relationship.When her beloved Jack got banged up in a mental hospital after trying to sail down the Thames in a makeshift raft, Linda didn’t take the hint. Instead, she married him and moved to San Francisco, where she planned to get ahead. Alas, her blue-skied visions hadn’t included unemployment, arguments, or Jack’s desire to sleep with as many women as he could get his hands on.As romance turns to rot, our heroine pours her bile into song (but what does rhyme with ‘bastard’..?), assembles a cabaret band and takes to the dark, sticky stages of the city’s nightclubs. And there, amid a morass of strippers, magicians, artists and assorted weirdoes, she strives for the ultimate musical accolade: Ms Accordion San Francisco 2004.This is, essentially, the story of how a very nice boyfriend became a plastered bastard and how Linda wrote some songs about it.